Monday, December 28, 2009

Gratitude A to Z.....

A animals. I love my dog Daisy. And Kagun loves her too. She is so good with him. She sits there and lets him beat on her and just kisses him.

B Brennan. He has changed my life for the better and is such an amazing example to Kagun. He is being a great father figure for him and a great boyfriend and my best friend. He is absolutely amazing. I am so lucky to have found such a great man.

C computers. They are a great way to communicate with my family that doesnt live close. They keep us close when we are so far away.

D Dad. I miss and love my dad so much. He is a great example for me to look up to. And the best person to call and talk to when I need a friend.

E employment. Without my job I wouldnt be able to support the life that I have with Kagun.

F Family. I would be lost without them. They stand by me through the thick and thin and are always there to support me and Kagun no matter where we are and what we do. I love you all!

G God. He has put up with a lot throughout the past 5 or 6 years and He is still there when I turn to him. He is the base of my life and helps me get through the worst of things.

H Home. I love love love my new house. With the help of Brennan we have created an amazing home for Kagun and I. And with the help of my mom, decorating my house, it is soooo cute!

I individual worth. When Kagun was born I really found the meaning to this.

J jumping. Kagun loooooves to jump. So one day I just started jumping up and down and it really is fun and makes you smile and laugh no matter what mood you are in. And it made him laugh when I did it so I love it even more.

K Kami. I love my mom. She is my best friend and is always there to bring me up when I am down. She has supported me and is a great inspiration in my life. She is the most amazing women I have ever known. I strive to be more like her everyday.

L Love. Being in love has brought me to realize who I really am and what I have to offer. Being in love is the most amazing feeling I have ever know. Also the Love for Kagun. Being a mother has shown me what love really is and I have never truly loved anyone till I saw what love truly is by having a baby.

M moms. Being a single mom has shown me how much a mother really has to do to raise a child.

N nap time. I wouldnt be able to get through the day without my nap and Kaguns little cat naps that let me get things caught up.

O hmmmm im struggling with o.....

P pillows. I have like seven that I sleep with. I LOVE pillows.

Q and im struggling with q.....

R Repentance. I would be lost without being able to start back over from the beginning.

S Sisters. Shaylee is the most amazing 17 year old women I know. She is so strong and independent. I wish that I was as amazing as she was when I was 17. She is an amazing example and I look up to her more than she knows.

T Taylors. I love my family all the way up to my great grandpa Vance. Even if he rushes me out the door. My family name means a lot to me and who I am.

U uniqueness. I love how every person is unique in their own way. If everyone were the same life would be way too lame.

V vacations. I dont get them often enough but to me a vacation is a day off to spend with Kagun. The little time I get when he falls asleep in my arms and I get to hold him. Also, the times when he is asleep and I get to get in the tub.

W world wide web. My world revolves around it and the instant communication that it gives me to my family.

X xenodochial: hospitable; kindly to strangers. Yes I had to look up an x word. Living in a small town I see a lot of this and it has really helped me to be a "foreigner" in a small town where everyone knows everyone.

Y yoga. I dont do it enough but it really helps me relax and have a moment to myself.

Z zanyism: buffoonery. Haha. Brennan is a shining example of this. And so is Kagun. They do anything to make me laugh on the bad days and it always makes me smile. Also the word buffoonery just makes me giggle.
Kagun loves his dad. (: He has been saying da da da da for over a month now. He is always reaching for Brennan and crawling over to him. He is a little daddys boy and loves to be anywhere near Brennan.
I made Kagun this hat in my many hours at work. But as soon as I put it on his head he rips it off. He hates anything on his head.
This was Kaguns first Christmas present. He was more interested in the wrapping paper. He loves all the toys he got for Christmas. He is sooooo spoiled!!
This is grandpa Kelly giving his famous grandpa Kelly kisses. He can get away with them now while Kagun is young but Swade wont let grandpa kiss him anymore.
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Wednesday, September 9, 2009

3 months 1 week

This was right after Kaguns 30 minute bath. He loves to sit in the tub and kick and splash around. His feet were all wrinkley and pruney. They looked like old man feet. He was so worn out after his tub. He always sleeps for a few hours after he gets in the bath. He is 3 months and one week old now. I remember counting down the weeks till he would be here. And now I just wish that time would stop so that he could stay little forever. He is so much fun. He giggles and laughs at everything I do. He is very alert and smiles at anyone who will talk to him. He slobbers a TON and anytime he can his hands go straight to his mouth. He loves to play on his belly and roll over. As soon as he rolls over I flip him back over on his belly and he does it again and again and again. He loves his feet to be rubbed and will sit there for an hour if you just rub his feet. Every morning he wakes up at 7 and i put him on the floor and he watches clifford the big red dog while i sleep for another hour on the couch (: He spent the night with Grammy Kami and the family in Panguitch last weekend. I felt lost without him. He is my little best friend and goes everywhere with me.
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Tuesday, September 8, 2009

kissing hands

Me and Kagun spend lots of time cuddling. This is at the hotel that I work at out in Torrey. Susan lets me bring Kagun so I can work and take him with me. I LOVE this job. I wish that the hotel was open all year round so that I could have this job forever. I clean rooms in the morning and then watch the front desk at night. The only issue that I have had is that the hotel is about 20 minutes from my house. And I am always off after dark. And there are lots of deer! A few weeks ago I was driving home in the flat bed truck of Brennans and I almost hit one! I swerved into the other lane and missed the buck. . So when I swerved to miss the deer my arms went straight to his carseat. I dont have to drive this truck anymore. Haha. I was really shaken up and cried most of the way home. . It was a scary drive. But luckily wont ever happen again!!
This day I held Kagun for over 2 hours while he slept. I love to hold him while he sleeps. He is so perfect and innocent. I really am scared for him. The world was scary for ME growing up. And it is only getting worse. I know that the only way to keep him happy and healthy and live a good life is to raise him in the church. Right now we live in Loa, Utah and the church has been very welcoming and great to us both. The only thing that I dont like about it is how far away I am from my family. I really have missed my family. Especially my mom. She is my best friend and I feel lost without her. Hopefully they can get up here soon!
This is what we call "Kissing Hands". I kiss his hands so that he can hold my kisses for later. While he sleeps he reaches up to my face and grabs onto my lips. And when I am feeding him he reaches up and touches my face and lips. I love our "mommy and me" time. My mom was the one who introduced kissing hands to me. She does it to Swade a lot and I stole it from them. Now Swade gives Kagun kissing hands when he sees Kagun (:
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Thursday, August 6, 2009

Rohhh dayyy ohhhh

I sent Swade to get me a snow cone (: He is such a great helper. Especially with Kagun. He loves to hold Kagun. And just this week I decided that Kagun could survive a fall if it was a foot off the ground. So now Swade is allowed to walk with Kagun if I am there or mom or dad to supervise. Now all he wants to do is walk with Kagun from room to room.
Shaylee kicked some serious butt in goats at this rodeo. She took first at both of these series if I remember correctly. She is getting better and better everyday. She practices everynight so it is really paying off. I have to tell her horror story about our most recent goat. She might get mad that I am posting it on here... but ohhh well (: Well we bought 2 goats 2 months ago and the first one got really sick and died. We're not exactly sure why it died. But it was sick and the shots we were giving it didnt work. So that was our first goat that died. The 2nd one died a few nights ago in the really crazy wind and rain and lightning storm. The water trough thingy that we had over its cage to give it shade blew up and over and landed on him. Since we live in 110 degree weather, we decided the sooner we could get rid of it the better. So my mom started making some phone calls to have someone come and haul it off because my dad and Vance were out at scout camp till Saturday. Shaylee didnt know that my mom was calling people to come and take care of it. So Shaylee goes out in the hundred degree weather and buries it. But the worst part is that our new neighbors sat and watched her drag the goat by the horns all the way across our arena to bury it. Ok... so the WORST part was that of all the places in our huge arena she started diggin in the exact spot that my dad buried the other goat. So she came across him in the process of burying this one. And the neighbors sat and watched the whole thing. Shay is tough tho. All that she had happen from it was a few blisters. She is the best sister and my best friend.

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ohhh sad day ):

Its not very often that Kagun cries. But like I said earlier when he cries he really cries!! He has his little fits and he really gets into them. He has been so upset that he will hyperventilate for an hour after the scene. I have to admit that he is really spoiled. I spend most of my day holding him. So when he is handed off to someone else he has to be in a good mood or he wont let them hold him. I have taught myself to not sit in my room all day everyday and hold him. Grandma and Grandpa need a chance too!!
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My happy baby

Kagun has been the perfect baby. He is so happy all the time, There are few times that he actually cries. But when he cries... HE CRIES. He has become quite the little "mommas boy" but I wouldnt have it any other way.
He loves to snuggle. He will snuggle anyone and everyone who will give him a binkey or a bottle. He spends a lot of his time being passed around while he sleeping.
This is his changing table. He spends 45 minutes laying here every morning. Mornings are his "happy time" and he will just sit there and kick and coo and slobber all over himself. This is also his "pooping time". Every morning like clock work I lay him on his changing table and he poops away. He is a LOUD pooper. He grunts and turns red red red.
Kagun has already spent many hours beside a pool in the sun. He has a little swim suit, a swim shirt, and of course some stunna shades.
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grandpa kelly (:

This was one of Kaguns first visitors in the hospital. Kagun was really happy to meet his new great grandpa Kelly.
.........Till he put the cowboy hat on.
.........So the hat went back off (:
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How to:

This is how we show that we are excited at my house. I have seen it from everyone including my own father. So I made it a personal goal to throw my hands in the air and laugh and smile when I get excited. (:

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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Kagun's #1 fans

Vance and Swade are Kagun's new best friends. The first week he was home they couldn't get enough of him. They both think its so cool to give him a mohawk. Swade loves to have Kagun hold his finger. He thinks that is so cool when he grabs onto his finger. Swade is an amazing helper with Kagun. If I need anything for Kagun, Swade is the first one to get it for him. He also is the first one to run to Kagun and comfort him when he cries. He loves to hold Kagun and watch tv. Vance's favorite time with Kagun is when Kagun is sleeping and all cuddly and calm. They both have grown very close to Kagun. And the both love the fact that they are uncles. They tell everyone about Kagun and replay everytime he has peed, pooped and thrown up on me. They think thats pretty funny. (:

Mom and dad fight over Kagun all the time. My mom has been so much help. I wouldnt have made it through the first week home without the help from my mom. She has stepped in and really helped me with everything. She has taught me all sorts of little tricks and things to do with Kagun. She has been great support with breast feeding. I was ready to give up and she kept me going. My dad has been absolutely amazing. Kagun was sick the first week. He lost a lot of weight and just didnt look healthy. I cried for 3 days and just held him. My dad came home and gave Kagun a blessing. In 4 days he had gained 2 lbs and was happier and healthier than before. I know with all my heart that the blessing was the reason behind his quick recovery. He also had a little bit of Jaundice and after the blessing it was completely gone. The blessing was amazing. And it was as much for me as it was for Kagun. I was waiting for my milk to come in and Kagun was starving. And it broke my heart. But once my dad gave Kagun the blessing everything fell into place. I am so grateful for my dad and having the priesthood in the household. I told my dad he is my temporary husband. He carries my carseat and diaper bag for me when we go places. And he is always right there at my door to help me with Kagun when I get out of the car or need anything. I love you dad.

The first two days with Kagun were amazing. I was so happy. I have never been so happy in my entire life. He slept like this on my chest the entire time I was in the hospital. The nurses only took him one time to the nursery to give me a few hours to sleep. I asked them to bring Kagun back when he needed to eat so that they didnt have to give him a bottle. But they decided that they didnt want to wake me and that I needed the sleep. So they gave him a bottle. That was the only time I let them take him to sleep in the nursery. (: And still to this day he LOVES to sleep on my chest like this. Somedays its the only place he will sleep. But I wouldnt change that at all. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the cuddle time with him.

So while I was pregnant Shaylee was totally grossed out about me being pregnant. She wouldnt even touch my belly to feel him kick because she was really grossed out and said it was nasty. And at the beginning of my pregnancy I had asked her to come into the delivery room. Then as I got farther along I changed my mind. Probably something to do with being an emotional wreck for 9 months. But when the day came I decided I wanted her in there. I didnt even have to ask. She came in and didnt leave. Hopefully she got as much of a spiritual experience out of it as I did. Now she loves to hold Kagun. She spends lots of time holding him for me.

Kagun is hardly ever set down. Someone is always around to hold him and cuddle him. He is becoming very spoiled and on days like today, wont let anyone put him down.
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On May 25, 2009 Kagun West Taylor was born at 8:30 am. He weighed 6 lb 11 oz and was 20 inches long. Let me start at the beginning...
It was a Sunday night and we decided to go for a walk as a family across the golf course. We do this a few times a week and decided to take a longer walk this time all the way around the golf course. It started getting cold and windy and the sprinklers were on so we were heading towards home when a sprinkler came on less than 5 feet in front of all of us and nailed us all with water. Vance got the worst of it he was soaked. But in the shock of a sprinkler spraying me in the face I ran up a steep grass hill to get out of the line of fire. This is when I think my water broke. I dint know for sure because it wasn't a huge gush filling my shoes like most people made me believe it was. We continued on our way home and I started feeling a little pains. I was desperate to keep the pains coming so I bounced on my yoga ball for about an hour. I started to feel the pains harder and stronger. It was about 10:30 so I went upstairs to go to bed. I rocked in my rocking chair for about an hour and thats when the contractions really started coming. I started timing them and about midnight they were exactly 4 minutes apart. I called my mom who was downstairs in bed and told her to come upstairs and take me to the hospital. She came up and got in my bed and tried to go back to sleep. I laid down next to her and the contractions didn't stop. We took our time packing my clothes and make up and everything I would need. I didn't want to spend any more time in the hospital than I needed to. We even stopped at the gas station to get chap stick and chocolate and a diet coke for mom. All while I was in labor and having contractions. When I got to the hospital it was 1:00 am and the contractions were still 4 min apart. They checked me in and said that my water was broken. I didn't even know that it was broken. She asked when it could have happened and I told her I thought it was about 9:00 pm when we were on the golf course. Then I was moved to my delivery room where they said I was still dilated to a 2 and started me on petocin and the epidural. The nurse said I should get some sleep cause it would be a long time before I went into labor. So me and mom went to bed. But I couldn't sleep. I was too freakin excited!! About 5:30 I started having really bad contractions. I woke my mom and we called the nurse in. The nurse checked me and said I was dilated to a 9. And the reason I was having pains is because they only gave me enough epidural for being dilated to a 2. So they sped up the epidural but it never seemed to catch up with me by the time Kagun was born. After the nurse checked me 3 other girls went into labor at the same time. So all of the nurses were gone. And no one came back to check on me for 2 hours. The epidural button had cut me off because I had pushed it so many times. I finally told my mom he was coming and to get a nurse in there. They had told me not to push. But by 7:30 I couldn't not push anymore. A nurse came in and checked me and said I was dilated to a 10 and the baby was coming. I could have told her that!! They set up the room and the Dr. came in. I pushed for about 20 min and Kagun was born.

My mom was there holding my hand the entire time. She never left my side and was an amazing cheerleader for me. She was constantly telling me how amazing I am and to not give up. She is more than just my mom. She is my best friend and my #1 fan. She is the most amazing woman I have ever met. And I am so lucky to have her as my mother and best friend. We have no secrets from each other and there is no one else who knows more about me than she does. I love you mom. I wouldn't have made it through this without you.
Shaylee and my dad came to the hospital about 7:00 when the nurse said the baby was coming. They both stayed in the room for the delivery. Inch by inch they both moved to the farthest corner of the room. The Dr. asked who wanted to cut the umbilical cord and grandpa West jumped up right that second. It was the most amazing moment of my life. Having all of my family there made it even more special for me. I love you guys so much!! Thanks for all the unconditional love and support.

This is Kagun West Taylor. (: The most amazing human being in this entire world. I'm sure any mom would say that about every one of their children. He was born with a head full of hair. While I was delivering the Dr. kept going on about how much hair he had. He said he had an inch of hair before I even got to see him. When the Dr said that while I was delivering I lost it. It finally was the moment that I was going to be able to hold my son and meet him for the first time. It was the most spiritual experience I have ever had. I had an amazing delivery and everything went perfectly. I think I was made to have children. I just need to get the hang of being 9 months pregnant. The last month was the hardest part of it all.

This is my parents first grandchild and they have welcomed him into this world with more love and support than anyone could ask for. My mom and dad spent every minute they could at the hospital with me giving me all the support I could ask for. It took me and my mom and a few nurses 6 hours to teach Kagun how to suck. I was ready to give up on breast feeding and just give him a bottle. I was so tired and just wanted him to eat. But my mom and the nurses never gave up and were constantly giving me words of advice and encouragement. I went into the hospital Sunday night at 1:00 am and was released Tuesday morning at 9:00 am. I couldn't have asked for anything more in those two days. My life suddenly became complete with Kagun in my arms and my family by my side.
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Saturday, May 9, 2009

Lesson Learned

So today I wanted to bake. I have been in the mood to cook all day. So I started about 3 things at the same time knowing that I was going to run out of energy half way through the first one. SO I fugured that if I started making deer meat enchiladas, tapioca, and brownies at the same time.... I would get them all done and then be tired. But in that process I didnt read the directions on the tapioca pudding all the way through before I started making it. SOOO... I poured two boxes of tapioca together and added the sugar. THEN I read that your only supposed to use 3 TABLESPOONS of tapioca. And there were 8 oz of tapioca in each box. 8 oz of tapioca x 2 boxes of that = a crap load of tapioca. So I googled a few measurements and figured that for everything to even out I needed to times the recipe by 10. So this picture is my massive amount of tapioca pudding that I made. And of course.... as it was cooking it got thicker and bigger and eventually started overflowing. So I skipped the brownies, finished the enchiladas and now I have enchiladas and a TON of tapioca pudding for mothers day dinner. YAY (: As much as I love tapioca, I am already sick from eating it so much. My thought behind all of this was that I was going to clean the house spick and span and have dinner and dessert cooked for my mom for mothers day. Well... most of that got done before I ran out of energy and my feet swelled up like balloons. So... hopefully its the thought that counts. HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MOM... here's 3 gallons of tapioca. (:
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Friday, May 8, 2009

baby BUMP

So I have hated every picture I have taken of my belly. But I figured i'd put at least one up. This is 37 weeks and 4 days. 17 days to go. I started having contractions this week. They were really bad on Tuesday and Wednesday then pretty much stopped all together. The worst part about being pregnant has been my swollen and sore feet. And the back pains. But mostly my feet. I got a pedicure a few weeks ago and I really loved it. It felt sooooo good. I cant even reach my feet anymore. And they are always so swollen!
I really have loved being pregnant. The best thing has been feeling him move so much. He has been so active. More active then some of my friends that are pregnant. And I love that I can feel everytime he moves or has the hiccups. I fall asleep at night listening to his heartbeat on my little monitor thingy. It amazes me that he is almost here. 9 months has been long enough to wait for him. But it still hasn't fully hit me that he will be here in 2 weeks. Its going to be amazing when he finally gets here. But I am more than ready for him. I will post pictures of the nursery/my bedroom later this week. It really is coming together. I did the colors blue and brown. And I'm thinking of having hot pink to accent things. Just so its a little girly for me too.
I finally have everything he needs. Except for a swing. And he doesn't need one of those.... I just want him to have one. Haha. But I have everything ready for him to come. So now I just have to wait for him to decide he's ready to be here.
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week 37 and 38 ....

This past week has really been a hard one. I think its officially hit me that I dont sleep at all at night. And if I do its for a very short period of time. Im too hot, too cold, and when I just think that I am about right, I have to get up and pee. (: I have been going to the Dr. every week now. But nothing has changed in the past two weeks. The Dr. said the baby is still sitting really high and I havent dilated anymore than a 1. So... no progress yet. He's not ready to come. But I have been having contractions so that is giving me some hope. I am really ready for him to be here. Besides the little mess of my room. I have all of his things washed, folded and put in the right places. I have my bag to the hospital packed and the carseat by the door. Now I just have to wait. Has anyone tried drinking castor oil? My neighbor lady swears by it and said I should drink 4 tb of it with a pepsi and he will come right out. As much as I would love to have him out... is that safe? And I really am miserable enough that I dont want to be even more miserable and be throwing up. So lets hear your thoughts on it Ember.. and anyone else who reads this. I have been walking a lot. 3x a day usually.. hahaha. And sitting in my rocking chair while I watch tv. Someone told me that will start labor as well. I have 2 weeks left and I am just ready to be done, and do anything to give him a little nudge to get here.

Fetal development in pregnancy week 38:fetus in ninth month As you know, you've arrived at the final leg of your pregnancy journey, and if you're still carrying your little love around, they've just about reached their birth weight (somewhere between 6 to 8 pounds is average depending on whether they're a boy or girl). There really isn't a lot to report on baby this week, so lets do a quick recount of where we're at: all internal organ systems are pretty much ready for the outside world, they've got their meconium stockpile building up (their first black baby poo), lots of healthy baby fat, a rapidly developing brain (that'll keep growing with them for years to come), and they've more or less reached official baby status-- all they need to do is "head out" and say hello to the rest of the world and especially their ready-to-pop momma.

And how's mom doing? Hang in there momma, it's only a matter of time before the obnoxious and painful fake contractions you felt in your back, lower belly, and pelvic region will be replaced by real contractions... which are even more obnoxious and painful. You'll know when the real ones kick in because they're if you're feeling weird electrical tingles in your legs and inside your vagina, this would be none other than your not-so-little baby hitting various nerves as they settle into the pelvic area more intensely painful (woo!) and they spread over the entire uterus, through the lower back and into your pelvis.

If you're having trouble sleeping (which about 100% of women in this phase of pregnancy are), try to take little catnaps during the day, get one of those neato full-body pregnancy pillows, or at least lots of pillows that you can shove between your legs and under your belly to support your awkward shape more comfortably. Also, if you're feeling weird electrical tingles in your legs and inside your vagina, this would be none other than your not-so-little baby hitting various nerves as they settle into the pelvic area. If you're feeling sharp shooting pains instead of tingles, this would be your extra-evil-but-adorable baby pressing on your oh-so-very sensitive sciatic nerve. All we can recommend is some wincing, sitting down, and putting your feet up.

Fetal development in pregnancy week 37:fetus in ninth month It’s the calm before the storm. Changes in your baby's weight have leveled off with only a few ounces of fat added this week. At this point your baby should weigh in at around 7 lbs and 20 inches (with boys somewhat heavier and longer than girls). Happily, as far as internal organs go, they are now developed enough to function in the outside world although the oh-so-important immune system is still developing and will continue to do so after birth. With a large boost of antibodies provided by breast milk when nursing begins. Fighting infection and staying healthy should be well within their physical capacity when your little fighter is born.

And how's mom doing? Your health care provider will assess the likelihood of where you are relative to your upcoming birthing process—seeing as you’ve now arrived at that waiting phase that could turn into labor at any time. Various charming indicators such as loose stools, expelling your mucus plus (along with the bloody only 4-5% of women actual deliver on their predicted due date. What’s more if this is your first pregnancy, you can expect to be anywhere from two days to two weeks late show – see week 35), a dilated cervix and increased Braxton-Hicks contractions are all signs that labor is only a few days away. The infamous water breaking may or may not be your first true indicator that labor has commenced. However, water breaks for only 15% of mothers and despite what Hollywood would have us believe, is more frequently just a slow leak rather than a large gush.

Be patient: if labor doesn’t start this week, or even next, keep in mind that only 4-5% of women actual deliver on their predicted due date. What’s more if this is your first pregnancy, you can expect to be anywhere from two days to two weeks late. You can distract yourself by keeping track of fetal movements, mostly to reassure yourself that all is well with your little miracle. In the off chance that movements do start to decrease substantially, try not to freak out and instead, call your doctor of midwife and discuss it with them.

If you still haven’t decided whether to breastfeed or not, here’s a good reason: some experts estimate that mothers excrete between 400-700 calories a day while breastfeeding, and to compensate, you should be eating roughly 500 extra calories a day (mmm that’s like one spoonful of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream).