Gratitude A to Z.....

A animals. I love my dog Daisy. And Kagun loves her too. She is so good with him. She sits there and lets him beat on her and just kisses him.

B Brennan. He has changed my life for the better and is such an amazing example to Kagun. He is being a great father figure for him and a great boyfriend and my best friend. He is absolutely amazing. I am so lucky to have found such a great man.

C computers. They are a great way to communicate with my family that doesnt live close. They keep us close when we are so far away.

D Dad. I miss and love my dad so much. He is a great example for me to look up to. And the best person to call and talk to when I need a friend.

E employment. Without my job I wouldnt be able to support the life that I have with Kagun.

F Family. I would be lost without them. They stand by me through the thick and thin and are always there to support me and Kagun no matter where we are and what we do. I love you all!

G God. He has put up with a lot throughout the past 5 or 6 years and He is still there when I turn to him. He is the base of my life and helps me get through the worst of things.

H Home. I love love love my new house. With the help of Brennan we have created an amazing home for Kagun and I. And with the help of my mom, decorating my house, it is soooo cute!

I individual worth. When Kagun was born I really found the meaning to this.

J jumping. Kagun loooooves to jump. So one day I just started jumping up and down and it really is fun and makes you smile and laugh no matter what mood you are in. And it made him laugh when I did it so I love it even more.

K Kami. I love my mom. She is my best friend and is always there to bring me up when I am down. She has supported me and is a great inspiration in my life. She is the most amazing women I have ever known. I strive to be more like her everyday.

L Love. Being in love has brought me to realize who I really am and what I have to offer. Being in love is the most amazing feeling I have ever know. Also the Love for Kagun. Being a mother has shown me what love really is and I have never truly loved anyone till I saw what love truly is by having a baby.

M moms. Being a single mom has shown me how much a mother really has to do to raise a child.

N nap time. I wouldnt be able to get through the day without my nap and Kaguns little cat naps that let me get things caught up.

O hmmmm im struggling with o.....

P pillows. I have like seven that I sleep with. I LOVE pillows.

Q and im struggling with q.....

R Repentance. I would be lost without being able to start back over from the beginning.

S Sisters. Shaylee is the most amazing 17 year old women I know. She is so strong and independent. I wish that I was as amazing as she was when I was 17. She is an amazing example and I look up to her more than she knows.

T Taylors. I love my family all the way up to my great grandpa Vance. Even if he rushes me out the door. My family name means a lot to me and who I am.

U uniqueness. I love how every person is unique in their own way. If everyone were the same life would be way too lame.

V vacations. I dont get them often enough but to me a vacation is a day off to spend with Kagun. The little time I get when he falls asleep in my arms and I get to hold him. Also, the times when he is asleep and I get to get in the tub.

W world wide web. My world revolves around it and the instant communication that it gives me to my family.

X xenodochial: hospitable; kindly to strangers. Yes I had to look up an x word. Living in a small town I see a lot of this and it has really helped me to be a "foreigner" in a small town where everyone knows everyone.

Y yoga. I dont do it enough but it really helps me relax and have a moment to myself.

Z zanyism: buffoonery. Haha. Brennan is a shining example of this. And so is Kagun. They do anything to make me laugh on the bad days and it always makes me smile. Also the word buffoonery just makes me giggle.

Kagun loves his dad. (: He has been saying da da da da for over a month now. He is always reaching for Brennan and crawling over to him. He is a little daddys boy and loves to be anywhere near Brennan.

I made Kagun this hat in my many hours at work. But as soon as I put it on his head he rips it off. He hates anything on his head.

This was Kaguns first Christmas present. He was more interested in the wrapping paper. He loves all the toys he got for Christmas. He is sooooo spoiled!!

This is grandpa Kelly giving his famous grandpa Kelly kisses. He can get away with them now while Kagun is young but Swade wont let grandpa kiss him anymore.

3 months 1 week

This was right after Kaguns 30 minute bath. He loves to sit in the tub and kick and splash around. His feet were all wrinkley and pruney. They looked like old man feet. He was so worn out after his tub. He always sleeps for a few hours after he gets in the bath. He is 3 months and one week old now. I remember counting down the weeks till he would be here. And now I just wish that time would stop so that he could stay little forever. He is so much fun. He giggles and laughs at everything I do. He is very alert and smiles at anyone who will talk to him. He slobbers a TON and anytime he can his hands go straight to his mouth. He loves to play on his belly and roll over. As soon as he rolls over I flip him back over on his belly and he does it again and again and again. He loves his feet to be rubbed and will sit there for an hour if you just rub his feet. Every morning he wakes up at 7 and i put him on the floor and he watches clifford the big red dog while i sleep for another hour on the couch (: He spent the night with Grammy Kami and the family in Panguitch last weekend. I felt lost without him. He is my little best friend and goes everywhere with me.

kissing hands

Me and Kagun spend lots of time cuddling. This is at the hotel that I work at out in Torrey. Susan lets me bring Kagun so I can work and take him with me. I LOVE this job. I wish that the hotel was open all year round so that I could have this job forever. I clean rooms in the morning and then watch the front desk at night. The only issue that I have had is that the hotel is about 20 minutes from my house. And I am always off after dark. And there are lots of deer! A few weeks ago I was driving home in the flat bed truck of Brennans and I almost hit one! I swerved into the other lane and missed the buck. . So when I swerved to miss the deer my arms went straight to his carseat. I dont have to drive this truck anymore. Haha. I was really shaken up and cried most of the way home. . It was a scary drive. But luckily wont ever happen again!!

This day I held Kagun for over 2 hours while he slept. I love to hold him while he sleeps. He is so perfect and innocent. I really am scared for him. The world was scary for ME growing up. And it is only getting worse. I know that the only way to keep him happy and healthy and live a good life is to raise him in the church. Right now we live in Loa, Utah and the church has been very welcoming and great to us both. The only thing that I dont like about it is how far away I am from my family. I really have missed my family. Especially my mom. She is my best friend and I feel lost without her. Hopefully they can get up here soon!

This is what we call "Kissing Hands". I kiss his hands so that he can hold my kisses for later. While he sleeps he reaches up to my face and grabs onto my lips. And when I am feeding him he reaches up and touches my face and lips. I love our "mommy and me" time. My mom was the one who introduced kissing hands to me. She does it to Swade a lot and I stole it from them. Now Swade gives Kagun kissing hands when he sees Kagun (:

Rohhh dayyy ohhhh

I sent Swade to get me a snow cone (: He is such a great helper. Especially with Kagun. He loves to hold Kagun. And just this week I decided that Kagun could survive a fall if it was a foot off the ground. So now Swade is allowed to walk with Kagun if I am there or mom or dad to supervise. Now all he wants to do is walk with Kagun from room to room.

Shaylee kicked some serious butt in goats at this rodeo. She took first at both of these series if I remember correctly. She is getting better and better everyday. She practices everynight so it is really paying off. I have to tell her horror story about our most recent goat. She might get mad that I am posting it on here... but ohhh well (: Well we bought 2 goats 2 months ago and the first one got really sick and died. We're not exactly sure why it died. But it was sick and the shots we were giving it didnt work. So that was our first goat that died. The 2nd one died a few nights ago in the really crazy wind and rain and lightning storm. The water trough thingy that we had over its cage to give it shade blew up and over and landed on him. Since we live in 110 degree weather, we decided the sooner we could get rid of it the better. So my mom started making some phone calls to have someone come and haul it off because my dad and Vance were out at scout camp till Saturday. Shaylee didnt know that my mom was calling people to come and take care of it. So Shaylee goes out in the hundred degree weather and buries it. But the worst part is that our new neighbors sat and watched her drag the goat by the horns all the way across our arena to bury it. Ok... so the WORST part was that of all the places in our huge arena she started diggin in the exact spot that my dad buried the other goat. So she came across him in the process of burying this one. And the neighbors sat and watched the whole thing. Shay is tough tho. All that she had happen from it was a few blisters. She is the best sister and my best friend.

ohhh sad day ):

Its not very often that Kagun cries. But like I said earlier when he cries he really cries!! He has his little fits and he really gets into them. He has been so upset that he will hyperventilate for an hour after the scene. I have to admit that he is really spoiled. I spend most of my day holding him. So when he is handed off to someone else he has to be in a good mood or he wont let them hold him. I have taught myself to not sit in my room all day everyday and hold him. Grandma and Grandpa need a chance too!!

My happy baby

Kagun has been the perfect baby. He is so happy all the time, There are few times that he actually cries. But when he cries... HE CRIES. He has become quite the little "mommas boy" but I wouldnt have it any other way.

He loves to snuggle. He will snuggle anyone and everyone who will give him a binkey or a bottle. He spends a lot of his time being passed around while he sleeping.

This is his changing table. He spends 45 minutes laying here every morning. Mornings are his "happy time" and he will just sit there and kick and coo and slobber all over himself. This is also his "pooping time". Every morning like clock work I lay him on his changing table and he poops away. He is a LOUD pooper. He grunts and turns red red red.

Kagun has already spent many hours beside a pool in the sun. He has a little swim suit, a swim shirt, and of course some stunna shades.